3 Tips for Mindful Living
For me, as with pretty much everything else in my world, arriving at real living has been a process.
A very circuitous path.
I started down this road close to nineteen years ago with nary an iota of healthy lifestyle awareness.
I was an egocentric 20-something. I valued being skinny over feeling fit. I consumed fat-free anything and pretty much shunned healthy food options.
I was young in body and mind.
Almost two decades later I’m finally living authentically.
I’m older in mind and body, yet living more fully and vibrantly than ever before.
For me, the definition of real living has taken the shape of being mindful and present in all I do.
I am mindful with my food. Yes, if you were to follow me around for a day or two you’d notice I make mainly healthy choices. It would appear as though I have a healthy eating plan, but it’s (finally) a “plan” which isn’t written down or appropriated from a guru. It’s intuitive. My body now knows instinctively what it needs. I’m mindful in what foods I surround myself with so health options abound for my family. More than anything, however, I want to teach my daughter to be mindful and listen to her growing, changing body. It too knows what it wants and I work to teach her—in shorter than the two decades it took me—to listen.
I am mindful in the way I live. Yes I have healthy lifestyle habits, yet those extend far beyond the exercise and eating realm. I’m mindful with regard to my intake no matter the form. I strive to ingest only uplifting messages. I’ve tremendously cut back on brain-junk (from movies to magazines) in an effort to live more positively. I also work to be mindful of what I contribute to the world around me. I’m careful what messages I put out to others be it with my mood, my writing, my thoughts or just overall negativity. Real living, for me, is being mindful in how I live and interact with others.
I am mindful—period. I am present. I strive never to do the disservice of being with people yet NOT fully being present with them. I put down the smart phone. I turn off the television. I mono-task. I recognize for me real living may mean achieving less—according to the mainstream definition of success—yet what I achieve will be more meaningful. I work to make all my actions and interactions mindful choices and not distracted gestures.
It has taken close to 43 years for me to formulate my definition of real living.
I wonder, if I’m lucky enough to still be around in another 43 years, if my definition will have changed.
What does real living mean to you?
Has your definition changed and evolved over the years?
Be well!
Carla
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Jun 15, 2012 @ 11:54:00
I love this post, Carla! I especially like your last point, about being mindful in general. By “achieving less,” I bet you’re actually going to achieve more!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 02:12:00
I love this post too. I can relate to being that silly 20-something and I’m starting (trying?) to move more in this direction and be more mindful about various aspects of my life. It’s hard and definitely a work in progress. I think for me #2 is key – trying to live more positively and that has been huge.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 02:16:00
Real living – to live authentically, to treat myself as a treasure – in mind, body and spirit. Avoid negativity, in myself, as well as in others and situations. Try to be interested in others rather than trying to make them interested in me. Great post, Carla.
This is one of the great blessings of aging – being aware of these things and being able to act upon them.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 02:41:00
so true!! the fat free path was so…ick, but it got me to start down a path which has now lead me to a lifestyle of choices that I hope give me a longer more satisfying life
Jun 20, 2012 @ 02:43:00
“Living authentically” love that phrase. Such a refreshing reminder for us all, especially in those 3 areas. Thanks!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 02:49:00
I have changed my perspective on food and exercise also.
I need to mono-task more often.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:00:00
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Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:01:00
LOL not sure what the below is
was SUPPOSED TO say “Id comment back but Im off to be present with the child.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:03:00
my definition is constantly changing as my life changes and my priorities change.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:15:00
Real living for me is about being in the moment (like you talk about ‘being present’). I’m not yet great at this and need to keep doing some work on it – rather than wallowing in the past, or stressing about the future!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:40:00
Oh, that I hope for this kind of focus by the time I’m 43. I better get cracking….that’s not that far off.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:41:00
AWESOME post! Seriously, I need to work on being more present in my life. It always seems like there is too much going on, but I think that if I take a step back and just be “mindful” as you said, I’ll be happier!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 03:59:00
I too, wanted to be skinny over anything else 20-some odd years ago and my priorities have changed with age. I love the phrase “mindful living,” ”Fitness” for me, is about being spiritually and emotionally fit as well as being physically fit. This more holisitc outlook has changed my life.
Thank you as always for sharing your wisdom. You keep writing, and I will keep reading!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 04:09:00
I love the idea of being present. As a goal setter, I am always driving for the next level, next best thing, that sometimes I forget to just be in the moment!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 04:14:00
(inappropriate overshare
I WANNA PRINT YOUR COMMENT ilene. #endovershare)
Jun 20, 2012 @ 04:15:00
and I do wonder if it is easier for me to be in the moment, Heather, because Im NOT super competitive at heart? I set goals but for me the PROCESS and PATH to them is at *least* fifty percent of the joy of achieving.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 04:17:00
Carla – LOVED your post to get us here & I so wish I could hang with you & just BE! You have a very good mindful hold on how to do that!
I try to be mindful like you but have not got to where you are – except maybe the food choices! 
The way I feel & choices about certain things have definitely changed for me over the years. After years in Corporate America & the “have to watch your back” & cut throat & other things in there – well, I have learned to be very careful of choices I make now… I guess why I am still unemployed… not so sure I am willing to do certain things even though I need the money badly.
I LOVE YOUR ATTITUDE!!!!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 04:31:00
I certainly have evolved, over time, but I admit that I don’t tend to think of myself as mindful. Which is kinda ironic considering how I over-think everything!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 04:56:00
Brain junk! Oh, I love that term! I used to be a magazine addict and I (slowly) cut them out. I do still read Runner’s World because, well, because I love it so and it is pretty positive. But, I was someone who read Us Weekly and Vogue and Allure and others. They were no good for me. They left me wanting something other than my life — and not in a “I’m striving to be better” way but in a “Oh, I *need* that and that and that and that” way.
Out with the brain junk!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 05:00:00
we had a little, uh, child rearing moment over here recently. a disagreement of sorts about the husband feeding her junk. MIND JUNK. It is, IMO, as toxic as food junk.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 05:04:00
I’ve never thought of it in terms of being “mindful”… for me it was about the choice to experience life over the safety of the couch and the TV.
When I was a kid, “beautiful” was Twiggy. It was an image, with my body shape, that I’d never fit into. My hips were always too wide, by chest always too big… so it was easier to camouflage myself with fat. Living: which back then meant being part of the “in” crowd… being an alpha… was out of the question for me, so my option was retreating into books and TV.
It took a number of years to decide that “living” wasn’t a matter of fitting in, but a matter of being the best me I could be. I had to get some self love going… had to understand that sometimes fitting in was a limit rather than a freedom. It took being really sick (Lupus) to realize that every good minute I had shouldn’t be spent trying to be someone I’m not (and someone that I really don’t admire anyway) but experiencing all that life has to offer and growing into myself, rather than trying to bend myself into the shape of someone else.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 05:04:00
Be Mindful! It is so simple and so true! It can be difficult to stay in the moment, and I know I am prone to getting carried away and going a mile a minute. But just focusing on the here and now is so important! LOVE
Jun 20, 2012 @ 05:08:00
Quite confident you will be around still in 43 years. After all, mindfulness tends to help with that kind of thing
I don’t think anyone’s definition of real living hasn’t changed over the years. If they think it hasn’t, they are either a) lying or b) not quite there in terms of mindfulness because they don’t realize it has changed. Maybe once you realize that your real living definition has changed over time, you’ve achieved mindfulness? That sounds like a bit of a chicken and egg question 
Jun 20, 2012 @ 06:02:00
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your definition of ‘real’ living – god, do I love it so much! I am learning, learning, learning to be more mindful, not just with food (huge win for me!) but in all areas of my life, especially around being as present as I can be. I still falter a bit there – the damn iPhone has ruined me, I swear. I need to learn to mono-task like you said, get back to basics, to simplicity even. Lovely reminder, truly.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 06:24:00
So much of it is easy when I see the cues on my daughter’s face. When I grab my phone to take a picture of *her* there is a…almost a flash of “what? you’re going to be on your phone? we were playing” disappointment. A flicker. Until she realizes, yet again, I’m merely snapping her pic. to send to her dad
Jun 20, 2012 @ 06:44:00
I can honestly say in the last year…starting on a new path of business owning, I have found that I lost a bit of this mindfullness. It’s so easy to do..work and forget what’s most important.
I am very mindful about what I eat. It’s absolutely key to health and wellness. I also have four eyes, plus two dogs watching every bite I put in my mouth. If I junk out, my kids will too. I set the bar for how they will ultimately treat themselves with the food they eat. So, we eat well rounded meals three times a day and two healthy snacks. That is the one thing I’ve not let slide.
As far as mindful…
Arh, this is where I’ve fallen off the wagon. Building a business, brand, and maintaining my role as mom and wife has been pretty much like running an endless marathon. I’m constantly working..in one way or another. I’m not rested as a result. And then guilt sets in when I realize that although I’ve met needs, I haven’t really spent quality time with others or with myself. Boo..that’s changing though.
Mindfully living…
I do process life by what I write. It’s therapy essentially without the pricetag. I read a lot, and take things in. But I don’t rest nearly enough as I said before. The old saying, you have to take care of yourself first before you can care for others comes to mind many times throughout this last six months.
But I also know there’s an easy turn around. That being aware is a huge step. Now time for making changes to live mindfully.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 06:45:00
I love the concept of mono-tasking - that is something that I think we could all do more of! I’m not someone distracted by smartphones and other gadgets, but often my own mind spinning away. I’m working on being present more though and love your thoughts on this Carla!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 07:10:00
My definition of real living has definitely changed over time. As I continue to learn more as the days go by, my definition will most likely change (be modified) as I move forward through life
I love reading anything your write Miz! Always so thought provoking!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 07:13:00
I love this, Carla. You never cease to make me stop and reflect. I have become increasingly mindful in my recovery and have absolutely achieved a place in my life where I am so incredibly satisfied. I’m sure that will change. We’re always working on finding balance. But I think that is what life is about – it is a constant journey of attaining complacency and, then a moment later, trying to find it again. But that’s okay – it just keeps us going and keeps up ticking! <3 xoxo
Jun 20, 2012 @ 07:30:00
I totally needed this post today. I feel like things are constantly crazy right now…..I need to be more present, more mindful, and focus on the big picture (vs. the crazy little things that drive me up the wall). Heart you!
Jun 20, 2012 @ 07:47:00
wow so many wise insightful responses here. I love I learn more from reading your reactions to my posts most days than I even do writing them (the writing which I will now, thanks to you
, view as “therapy without the price tag!”)
Jun 20, 2012 @ 08:00:00
Being mindful is something that brings so much peace and calm. I love what you said about being in the present with people. I know when someone is present with me – I truly feel they care.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 13:07:00
I’m 43 & real living has been like a huge airplane that has circled and circled (trying to find the perfect place to land). Sometimes my real living has touched down on what I thought was solid ground, only to be rudely and sometimes painfully jolted into truth.
Now, I’m at a point where my real living consist of just that…Real Living: THIS is where I am, THESE are the choices I make, I am where I am. And I’m finding peace with this. I’m finding who I really am (without this person preaching to me what I should be doing, without his/their rules to dictate how I should be)-that’s real living for me….my “plane” has landed & it landed right in front of ME. (NOT to say we won’t uproot again for a wonderful new adventure!LOL!).I hope all that made sense.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 13:14:00
Being an inveterate multi-tasker (and more than a little ADHD), mindfulness does not come easily to me. But I spend so much of my life running in a panic that I wish I were better at it. I love when you post about it though – gives me hope:)
Jun 20, 2012 @ 16:18:00
I love that you are able to mono task. I need to stop trying to be all things to all people and be everything to the three important people in my life. (Also been trying the mindful eating thing. Funny how often I go to eat something and I don’t even really want to eat or to eat that particular item…)
Jun 20, 2012 @ 23:58:00
Loved your sweet way of getting us over here to read this. And I thought of you as I did NOT just sit and wait while my oil was changed. Instead I walked and then did some strength training. I like to think I take advantage of every moment to get some exercise in, but this was a new one for me today!
Jul 10, 2012 @ 08:44:00
oh, HAI! so cool to see you here! i try to be mindful, too. i struggle with it, but it is something that i believe is worth working on…