The Widow
“I don’t want to be a widow so young!”
Those are the words that changed my life. Those are the words that motivate me everyday!
When I was over 400 pounds, I was a walking time bomb! I knew there was no future. How could there be? Walking was a struggle, breathing was a struggle, and sleeping was a struggle. Life in general was a struggle. Honestly, I was tired of struggling. I wanted to give up.
Life was more of a day to day operation. I did not plan for the future. I was just lucky to wake up each morning.
What a shame I lived that way as well. Food was more important than my family. I would eat and eat, without caring about myself or the way I lived. 10,000 calories a day is ridiculous, yet it is what I ate. I was supposed to take medication for my heart and cholesterol, but never did. Why??? Maybe laziness, maybe I just did not care!
I have always had a great wife, who has stood by me for close to twelve years. I have never met anyone who cared about me more. She has always talked about us having a family, and living for the future.
Future……some people do not even think about it. I did not.
Here is a story that changed my life forever!
Before my dramatic weight loss, I was working late one day. My boss was talking to me about some new procedures and it really interested me for some reason. We were talking until 3 a.m., when at the time I usually get home around 1 a.m.
When I strolled in the house around 3:15am, my wife was up crying. I couldn’t understand why.
I remember telling her that I was at work, and not cheating on her or doing something dumb.
She looked at me with that look. And then uttered the words:
“I don’t want to be a widow so young!”
It is so true. Why was I living the way I did? I would never be able to have a family! Even if I did, how long would I be around to enjoy it- maybe a year? Maybe six months?
Plus, being over 400 pounds, it is so hard to have a family. Sure, getting married is easy (Except finding a tuxedo), but having a baby is impossible. Adoption agencies won’t even look at someone over 400 pounds, because how long are they going to be around to take care of a child? Taking care of a pregnant wife is difficult as well, especially since it is tough to even roll out of bed!
When that comment was made, I knew I needed to make a life change. That is the motivation I needed.
Whenever I am around “bad” food or I am too tired to work out, or a holiday comes up with people shoving snacks in my face, I do not get tempted. Why? Because I am thinking of other people. I am thinking of my wife…
Be well!
Tony
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Mar 14, 2012 @ 01:24:00
Congratulations!
Mar 14, 2012 @ 10:01:00
Tony, bless you for sharing this– and bless your wife for having the courage to say what I didn’t. And should have. For my failure to say it– perhaps be his touchstone, the final straw that would motivate him– might have saved his life. My first husband left me a widow at 28. I am not sure there is a much lonelier place.
May you have a long and happy life together.
Mar 15, 2012 @ 10:14:00
I’m fascinated by “Ah-Ha!” moments. It seems that everyone who’s figured it out has had one, but there’s no consistent one way for it to happen. This was a pretty powerful one, for sure. Bravo, Tony!